Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
