this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
be right there i have to get my cape
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
