I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
