just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
