CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
