The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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