Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
