why do cheetos always look like penises
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
