it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
