So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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