I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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