I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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