:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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