He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
