How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
