So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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