i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
