well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
