It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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