the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
