I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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