i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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