On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize