At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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