I hope mine doesn't look like that
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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