her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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