he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
