5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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