went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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