I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
