Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
