I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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