i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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