Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
