maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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