No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
