Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
