You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
where am i from again
Four minutes until I can fart!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
