I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
one two three fourrrrnication!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
