idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
