Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
