I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
