so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Who wears a wallet chain?!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
