Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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