I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize