just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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