I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
