If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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