I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
