i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
