seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize