Only a mothe r could love this liver
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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