? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
