Yo dont text me then not text me
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
