he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
